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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, government are encouraging industries and businesses to move to regional areas outside the big cities Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #government #industries #businesses #move #areas #cities #trend
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Government authorities are nowadays motivating many
industries
 and
businesses
 to expand themselves to other regional
areas
 rather than confining
to
Correct pronoun usage
themselves to
show examples
 only big
cities
.
This
 movement from big
cities
 to other small towns has both merits are demerits which will be discussed in the essay below. To embark on, many multinational
companies
, brand offices,
industries
 and factories are found to be situated only in popular
cities
 as
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of their consumers belong to these urban
areas
. Opening additional branches at new places outside these prime
areas
 has numerous advantages.
This
 expansion helps the
businesses
 reach more
people
 thereby increasing its consumer market. As more
people
 become aware of these products and services, they tend to purchase them,
consequently
 resulting in the
companies
 benefiting financially
due to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in their sales and profits.
Moreover
, reaching more
areas
 helps them to get
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 feedback from its users, thereby bringing about modifications in their services to better satisfy the public.
Apart from
this
, setting up new branches in
such
 small regional locations grants employment opportunities to the local public as well.
Overall
,
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of
businesses
 to other local towns and suburban
areas
 is a win-win situation for not only the businessmen but
also
 the local citizens. On the opposite side, moving factories and
industries
 to new locations has several demerits
such
 as increased financial pressure on the entrepreneurs for
Correct article usage
the
show examples
construction of new offices and buying more
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
.
Additionally
, it necessitates hiring more staff and workers in order to look after the processes at these offices.
Apart from
this
, there is an increased risk of facing financial losses
initially
 as the local
people
 might not buy their products and services immediately. It will take some time for the regional public to accept and trust the newly available products. It will lead the
companies
 to spend a considerable amount of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 marketing. Looking at both sides of the coin, in the short term course, the demerits are more than the merits,
nevertheless
Add a comma
nevertheless,
show examples
 the benefits of expanding the
companies
 to regional centres definitely
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the
disadvanages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
. In the long run.
To conclude
, the
governents
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 must continue to encourage
industries
 to carry out their expansion to other regional
areas
 apart
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 big
cities
 as it offers many advantages to the
people
as well as
 the
businesses
 themselves.
Submitted by vaishnavivardekar2209 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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