IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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In the modern world, the most important goal of
science
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 and development should be to improve and make people's lives better. I agree with
this
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 statement because
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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inventions and
develops
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developments
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 were the primary causes for us to collect
comfortable
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comfort
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 and technology.
Also
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,
science
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 opened many ways to learn and teach it to each other. In
this
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 essay, We will discuss all points for
this
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 topic. On the one hand, there are many authorities which are working to create a lot of technical devices for home
using
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use
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.
As a result
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, they benefited from the
science
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 to make people's tasks easier.
In addition
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, some companies which have
a
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famous brands are trying to get some special products to sell in many stores, So, they merged the technology with their inventions.
For example
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, a Japanese organization launched a technical pen for kids and adults. It was unlimited use. after 4 months. Japanese society bought around 4 million pens. They liked it because it was a great and modern idea.
On the other hand
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, often the world is learning many
scientest
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scientist
 subjects at the school. It's the key
of
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to
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 the future to get work and get benefits in our lives.
Furthermore
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, it's helpful to share
the
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apply
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awareness about the importance of teaching it. There are many countries without a big learn percentage for their nations,
In other words
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.
that's
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that
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 will be a disadvantage for governments to progress. In conclusion. the
science
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 is the most important side in the world. So, it must have an impartial aim to improve people's lives.
Additionally
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, we should teach it for all group ages to get a great Educated community
Submitted by kalmah.sa20 on

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task achievement
Ensure the introduction presents a clear thesis statement directly related to the question prompt. Revise the first sentence for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay by connecting ideas more clearly and logically between paragraphs and sentences.
task achievement
Provide specific examples and evidence that directly support the main points made in each paragraph.
language accuracy
Be consistent with subject-verb agreement and watch for small grammatical errors that may impede understanding.
coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the prompt and provides an introduction and conclusion, which frame the argument well.
task achievement
The writer uses relevant examples, such as the Japanese organization launching a technical pen, to illustrate points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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