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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The following diagram shows the process of cloning a sheep. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The following diagram shows the process of cloning a sheep. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#process #sheep #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The diagram illustrated the duplicate
sheep
Use synonyms
 methods.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that three female
sheep
Use synonyms
 are required to
cloning
Wrong verb form
clone
show examples
 a
sheep
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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two of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 provide a
body
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
 and an
egg
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
 and the
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 one is
foster
Add an article
a foster
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 mother.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
sheep
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 cloned will be similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
sheep
Use synonyms
 giving
body
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cell
Fix the agreement mistake
cells
show examples
. At the beginning stage, two female
sheep
Use synonyms
selected
Verb problem
apply
show examples
are taken, including
sheep
Use synonyms
 A and
sheep
Use synonyms
 B, one for an
egg
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
 and another for a
body
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
body
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
 is extracted DNA,
while
Linking Words
 the
egg
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
 is removed nucleus. Having prepared both DNA and
egg
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
, the DNA from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sheep
Use synonyms
 A is fused with the
egg
Use synonyms
cell
Use synonyms
 from
sheep
Use synonyms
 B. At the next stage,
fused
Add an article
the fused
a fused
show examples
cell
Use synonyms
 is developed into
embryo
Correct article usage
an embryo
show examples
 placed in
uterus
Add an article
the uterus
show examples
 of
foster
Add an article
a foster
the foster
show examples
 mother. After that, a
sheep
Use synonyms
, which same as
sheep
Use synonyms
 A, is the result of all cloning processes.
Submitted by pakcheerac on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sheep, body, cell, egg with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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