IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting event that brings other nations together. Others say Olympics expensive waste of money that would be better spent on other things. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

#people #olympic #games #event #nations #olympics #waste #money #points
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Olympic
Correct article usage
The olympic
show examples
 games
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a contentious issue debate nowadays, where there are a huge number of
people
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
who enjoy
show examples
 it and have a significant role to elaborate all
countries
over
Rephrase
all over
show examples
 the
world
.
However
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other side, International
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
spent
Verb problem
cost
show examples
 a lot of
money
, so
that is
 why some
people
 believe it would
be better use
Change the verb form
be better used
show examples
 on other things.
This
 essay will examine some key points
both
Change preposition
of both
show examples
 2 different views.
To begin
 with, global
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports events
show examples
event
has
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 established since 1943 with aimed to
elaborate
Verb problem
expand
show examples
countries
 across the
world
. The
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
 International
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 competition
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Cup which
evolve
Wrong verb form
evolved
show examples
 all
countries
 with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tight competition
created
Correct word choice
and created
show examples
a united nations
Correct the article-noun agreement
united nations
a united nation
show examples
.
For Instance
, Indonesia
match
Change the verb form
matches
show examples
 with Japan in the
world cup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
show examples
 in the
clasemen
Correct your spelling
classmen
clansmen
 1 in
Asian
Correct article usage
the Asian
show examples
 region resulting
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
good bounding between 2 different
countries
.
However
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other hand, global
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
undaubtedly
Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
 need
a huge numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge number
huge numbers
show examples
 of
money
 which created
such
 a big concern for some
people
. Considering
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
 many problems in our mother of earth need
attantions
Correct your spelling
attention
attentions
,
thus
 many
people
 think that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 better to use
those
Change the determiner
that money
show examples
money
 to solve global problems.
For Instance
, in
this
 modern era, in
10
Correct article usage
the 10
show examples
last
 years
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 rapidly increased, leading to a serious problem
such
 as climate change.
To sum up
,
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 International competition can bring
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
countries
 together because
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
enjoy it, but
incontrast
Correct your spelling
contrast
, that
event
spent
Verb problem
costs
show examples
 a lot of
money
 which can
be use
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
 to solve other problems like climate change.
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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