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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph highlights the amount of money consumers spent on 3
services
Use synonyms
 in the US from 2001 to 2010
Overall
Linking Words
, the figure for
expenditure
Use synonyms
 in national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
 witnessed a downward trend
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true in
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
. It is obvious that international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
 ones remain stable during that period. In 2001, consumers'
expenditure
Use synonyms
 for national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
 in the USA reached the highest with 700$
while
Linking Words
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 was the lowest with only 200$. Afterward, there was a dramatic increase in
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 experienced a reverse trend. In 2006, the amount of money spent on
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 and national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 were the same at $500. One year later, the figure for
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 experienced a steady rise in
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 usage
whereas
Linking Words
 national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 still declined. In the first year of 2010s, the amount of money allocated to
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 reached about 750$
whereas
Linking Words
 that of national
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 hit merely $400. In 2001, the figure for
expenditure
Use synonyms
 on international
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 was around $250 and reached its highest point in 2003, at over $300. International
fixed-line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
expenditure
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight fall to $300 and remained stable to the end of the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words services, expenditure, fixed-line, cell, phone with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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