Completing a university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting exercise and developing soft skills are more important . discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In recent times, there is no denying the fact that pursuing
education
will increase
job
opportunities
in the future. At the same time, improving other
skills
significantly enhances
job
opportunities
alike, there is
also
an argument that getting experienced and developing
skills
to be more practitioner in your career is important as well. Before presenting my opinion,
this
essay aims to discuss
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
of view. On one hand, some people see that pursuing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is essential, and
this
has brought many benefits to their professional
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
In other words
, concentrating on pursuing
education
and specializing in specific majors may enhance
job
opportunities
in the market.
In addition
, having certificates from
university
in any
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
show examples
leads to getting better wages and salaries.
For example
, I graduated from
faculty
Correct article usage
the faculty
show examples
of law, and I got 5000$ monthly as a salary,
while
my brother not pursuing his
study
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studies
show examples
,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
got 3000$ monthly as a salary.
On the other hand
, doubtfully, promoting
skills
is an important and crucial factor in professional life, developing
skills
such
as communicating and negotiation
skills
might make your curriculum more attractive to employers.
Moreover
, having a certificate from
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
could not be enough to promote
job
opportunities
.
For instance
, when I was studying at
university
, I trained in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Law firm to improve my
discussions
Change the noun form
discussion
show examples
skills
. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that pursuing
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
leads to vast benefits.
Furthermore
, people could not gain these
skills
by graduating from
university
, these
skills
could be gained by exercising and
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
in the workplace.
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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, consider adding more specific examples to support the points about skills development. This would help in providing a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of connectors and linking words to maintain the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some of the contrasts between pursuing a university education and skill development to enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly present and effectively outline the main points of discussion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are given to support the argument for university education.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, clearly discussing both perspectives before presenting a personal opinion.
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