Some adopt the view that it is ideal to accept a bad situation, such as job dissatisfaction or a tiny budget, while others think that making an effort and improving such a situation are better. Both views of this argument will be discussed in the essay before my view on this matter is drawn in the end.

#adopt #situation #job #dissatisfaction #budget #effort #argument #matter

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some would argue that

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

way to live is when a person is satisfied and deals with bad situations as normal,

while

others say that individuals must try to improve their lives.

While

Adapting to circumstances is the quick and easy Solution, I believe that it is better to be hopeful and work hard to improve yourself. ‏On the one hand, Afraiding From losing primer cause of adapting People the circumstances By looking forward and jumping. from your seat, you might fall down and lose more than your Perception.

For example

last

year my sister opened a restaurant and lost more than 50,000 Dollars.

However

, I believe that

this

happened because she did not work hard and took it seriously.

On the other hand

, focusing on yourself can lead to incredible results.By working on yourself from a young you can continue studying and get a PhD.

Also

, when you try to improve your financial level you get experience and build relationships with other businessmen.

For instance

,Elyon Mask has good relationships with the owners of most brands now after being the owner of Twitter . I believe working hard can open locked doors through experience and build relationships. In conclusion,

although

staying in your place cannot lead to anything, you must change your life by taking the first step not only for yourself but

also

for your family. It is recommended that more effort equals more development.

Submitted by gral33jmi on Fri Dec 20 2024

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coherence cohesion

Clearly differentiate between both sides of the argument in the introduction to provide a clear outline for the essay.

task achievement

Use more precise language and define key terms for clearer ideas.

task achievement

Develop more specific examples that directly relate to the main ideas to strengthen arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay introduces both perspectives on the topic clearly.

task achievement

The essay attempts to provide examples to support the arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

235 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

dissatisfaction
adapt to circumstances
futile efforts
contentment
mental well-being
problem-solving skills
personal growth
motivation
proactive attitude
stagnation

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

Some people think it’s better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them. other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Genetically engineered food is an important issue in modern society. Some people think that it will improve people's lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.