Some people think the developments of technology make people's life more complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Technological advancements have had a profound impact on all our aspects of
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Some individuals believe that technological inventions
has
Change the verb form
have

The singular verb has does not appear to agree with the plural subject technological inventions. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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made our lives intricate,
leading
Correct word choice
and leading

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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simpler
Correct article usage
a simpler

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be the main focus of every person.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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view
Add an article
a view
the view

The noun phrase view seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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in detail and will explain why I believe that
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has made our
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

easier and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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. There are various sectors in which
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has made our
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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convenient. First and foremost, is the communication field.
Technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as mobile phones,
telephones
Correct word choice
and telephones

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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has made communication a lot easier. Messages are
send
Wrong verb form
sent

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb send. Consider changing it.

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and received
with in
Correct your spelling
within

The word with in seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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no time.
Technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has connected humankind
globaly
Correct your spelling
globally

If you don’t want globaly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the biggest invention of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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centuary
Correct your spelling
century

If you don’t want centuary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

is the internet. It has made the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

a global village. People are aware of
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

affairs, weather conditions and other crucial events related to any nation.
Healthcare
Add an article
The healthcare

The noun phrase Healthcare sector seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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sector is no exception, advances in medicines and research have saved millions of lives and will continue to do the same. Healthcare experts have created plenty of vaccines and various
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life saving
Add a hyphen
life-saving

It appears that life saving is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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treatments.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
in
Change preposition
during

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

pandemic, humanity was on the verge of extinction, but the vaccines saved the lives of
billion
Correct your spelling
billions

The word billion doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of people around the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

not only reduced the spread of that disease
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma before the conjunction but also appears to be unnecessary. Consider removing it.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provided immunity against future attacks.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with the collaboration of health experts
that
Correct determiner usage
the

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

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deadly
diease
Correct your spelling
disease

If you don’t want diease to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

was defeated. In conclusion, some people may find science and
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

intricate, but it has contributed
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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providing
comfortable
Add an article
a comfortable

The noun phrase comfortable, convenient and healthy lifestyle seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, convenient and healthy lifestyle to
individualds
Correct your spelling
individuals

If you don’t want individualds to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. In my opinion,
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gave
Wrong verb form
gives

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb gave. Consider changing it.

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us many benefits, healthcare and connectivity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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no exception, and mankind will need these advancements in the future.

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Grammar
Be consistent with the use of plural or singular forms (e.g., "technological inventions" should be consistent as "technological advancements" or "a technological invention").
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of linkage words and phrase (e.g., moreover, additionally, similarly). This will strengthen the logical flow of ideas.
Structure
The essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion neatly.
Task Achievement
You offer relevant examples in the communication and healthcare sectors to support your arguments, adding depth to the task response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • streamline
  • efficiency
  • healthcare outcomes
  • vast amounts of information
  • educational resources
  • face-to-face interactions
  • social skills
  • excessive
  • distractions
  • productivity
  • cybersecurity threats
  • data privacy issues
  • environmental degradation
  • e-waste
  • energy consumption
  • harmonious lifestyle
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