Some people think the developments of technology make people's life more complex, so we should make life simpler without using technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Technological advancements have had a profound impact on all our aspects of
life
. Some individuals believe that technological inventions has
made our lives intricate, Change the verb form
have
leading
Correct word choice
and leading
simpler
Correct article usage
a simpler
life
should be the main focus of every person. This
essay will discuss with
Change preposition
apply
view
in detail and will explain why I believe that Add an article
a view
the view
technology
has made our life
easier and comfortable
.
There are various sectors in which Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
technology
has made our life
convenient. First and foremost, is the communication field. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Technology
such
as mobile phones, telephones
has made communication a lot easier. Messages are Correct word choice
and telephones
send
and received Wrong verb form
sent
with in
no time. Correct your spelling
within
Technology
has connected humankind globaly
. Correct your spelling
globally
Furthermore
, the biggest invention of 21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
centuary
is the internet. It has made the Correct your spelling
century
world
a global village. People are aware of world
affairs, weather conditions and other crucial events related to any nation.
Healthcare
sector is no exception, advances in medicines and research have saved millions of lives and will continue to do the same. Healthcare experts have created plenty of vaccines and various Add an article
The healthcare
life saving
treatments. Add a hyphen
life-saving
For instance
, in
the Change preposition
during
world
pandemic, humanity was on the verge of extinction, but the vaccines saved the lives of billion
of people around the Correct your spelling
billions
world
. This
not only reduced the spread of that disease,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
provided immunity against future attacks. Consequently
, with the collaboration of health experts that
deadly Correct determiner usage
the
diease
was defeated.
In conclusion, some people may find science and Correct your spelling
disease
technology
intricate, but it has contributed in
providing Change preposition
to
comfortable
, convenient and healthy lifestyle to Add an article
a comfortable
individualds
. In my opinion, Correct your spelling
individuals
technology
gave
us many benefits, healthcare and connectivity Wrong verb form
gives
is
no exception, and mankind will need these advancements in the future.Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Submitted by georgeanum650 on
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Grammar
Be consistent with the use of plural or singular forms (e.g., "technological inventions" should be consistent as "technological advancements" or "a technological invention").
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of linkage words and phrase (e.g., moreover, additionally, similarly). This will strengthen the logical flow of ideas.
Structure
The essay provides a strong introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion neatly.
Task Achievement
You offer relevant examples in the communication and healthcare sectors to support your arguments, adding depth to the task response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite