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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university student want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subject. Other believe it's more important to study for qualification.

#university #student #subjects #addition #study #qualification
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In our contemporary era, some tertiary students intend to study
about
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apply
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accessory variable topics,
besides
 the main one.
On the other hand
,
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 think it is of paramount importance to
focuse
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focus
 their study to acquire their certificate. In my opinion, I would argue that focusing on the involved topic to get qualification is far more essential,
due to
 the high
sharpend
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sharpened
sharpen
 skill, that obtained by
consistant
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consistent
 and concentrated academic work. Admittedly, spending
the
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apply
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years of tuition
in
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learning additional topics, rather than the core subjects will be
essential
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an essential
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 factor in fostering student
skill
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skills
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, to
insure
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ensure
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 more enhancement toward
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a consistantly
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consistantly
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consistently
 sustainable future.
However
, I see
this
 will be effectively distracting the focus and effort of the learner, who will waste time and resources to develop
needed
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the needed
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 experience to earn
qualified
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a qualified
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 graduation.
Moreover
, the main discipline training will be deficient,
due to
 the attention that
drawn
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is drawn
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 away toward accessory material.
Conversely
, concentration to earn the
tergeted
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targeted
 qualification by focusing on the main discipline is far more important.
This
 approach will be markedly effective in developing
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a consistant
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consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
 person's capability.
That is
 to say, sharpening learner's skill which play
significant
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a significant
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 role in the job market.
For example
, in
the
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apply
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dental school, owing to the huge number of material demanded from the student, there is no time to be dissipated toward any secondary subjects.
This
 will produce talented professional from
their
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there
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, provided that hard work is exerted , to gain the dental faculty certification.
To sum up
, obviously ,during tuition, .multitask training will be productive in developing student's
profesion
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profession
.
Eventhough
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Even
,
I
Correct word choice
though I
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see that it is better for the learner to focus on one major core
that is
 fundamental in graduate procedure for certified experience.
Submitted by raedjihad1978 on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize the main points effectively.
logical structure
There is a logical flow of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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