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Band 6

the chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.

the chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999.
#levels #post-school #qualifications #australia #proportion #men #women
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The bar chart illustrates the various educational degrees after school in
Astralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
 and the number of
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 got them in 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that the number of
men
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 who got a
degree
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 was higher than
women
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exept
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except
 two of them. If we look at the details, at the top of the list for
men
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 and
totally
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total
show examples
 was
Skilled
Correct article usage
the Skilled
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 Vocational
Diploma
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 with 90%,
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
Use synonyms
 for the
men
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 was Postgraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
 with just over Two-thirds of the percentages and
Masters
Correct article usage
a Masters
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Degree
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comes
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 next with 60%,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Add the comma(s)
contrast,
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 the following
percantages
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percentages
 in two different categories named Bachelor's
degree
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 and Undergraduate
Diploma
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 for
men
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 was not as popular as for
women
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 with approximately 45% and 35% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, These two categories
were
Verb problem
had
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 the highest percentages for
women
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 generally, with 70%,
Undergraduate
Correct article usage
The Undergraduate
show examples
Diploma
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 ranked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
Linking Words
Bachelor's
Correct article usage
the Bachelor's
show examples
Degree
Use synonyms
 with 50%, was in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second
place
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, and the third
place
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 in the list was for Masters
degree
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 with 40%. Next was
Postgraduate
Correct article usage
the Postgraduate
show examples
Diploma
Use synonyms
 with 30%, and
then
Linking Words
 at the
last
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 in the
women
Use synonyms
's chart and on the whole was
Skilled
Correct article usage
the Skilled
show examples
 Vocational
diploma
Use synonyms
 with only
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 tenth of the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, degree, diploma, place with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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