The graph shows the percentage of Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012. Summarise the informaton by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The graph illustrates the percentage of the Australian workforce employed in five different industries—services, manufacturing,

agriculture

Use synonyms

, construction, and mining—over a period from 1962 to 2012.

Overall

Linking Words

, services companies had the highest per

cent

Use synonyms

of the workforce with the most growth between 1962 to 2012, in the meantime, mining had the lowest per

cent

Use synonyms

of workers and manufacturing decreased substantially. Sectors

such

Linking Words

as construction and

agriculture

Use synonyms

were relatively similar and stable from 1962 to nearly 2002

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when

agriculture

Use synonyms

increased and reached 10 per

cent

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

agriculture

Use synonyms

decreased slightly By 1962, services industries had more than half of the workforce and with a growth tendency by 2012 had almost 80 per

cent

Use synonyms

of manpower, those types of industries outnumbered mining ones since those did not reach even 5 per

cent

Use synonyms

of the total.

On the contrary

Linking Words

in 1962, the manufacturing sector had the second highest value with almost 30 per

cent

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

, with a decreased tendency over fifty years, it dropped to 10 per

cent

Use synonyms

, getting the same value as construction.

Submitted by mabetancurgu on Sat Dec 21 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words agriculture, cent with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

169 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

percentage
workforce
industry
trend
fluctuation
increase/decrease
comparison
notable
period
stable
significant
distribution
overview
relevant
analyse
highlight
overview

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The graph shows the percentage of Australian workforce in five industries between 1962 and 2012. Summarise the informaton by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it’s important to have friends who have the same opinions as them, while others think it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that schools should invest money in the best equipment for their students. Others say it is better to invest money in hiring good teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Mast people agree that money cannot bring happiness. Why is happiness is difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness.

These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?