IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph show internet users as percentage of population.

The line graph show internet users as percentage of population.
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The line chart compares the proportion of using the
Internet
Use synonyms
 in three countries during 10 years. It is clearly observed that at the beginning of the year
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 had the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage of using the
Internet
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
, Mexico was lower.
Also
Linking Words
, at the
ending
Replace the word
end
show examples
 of the
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 the most proportion of
Internet
Use synonyms
 users belonged to
Canada
Use synonyms
. In 1999, the figure for using the online network in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 was about 30%
whereas
Linking Words
, that of
Canada
Use synonyms
 and Mexico were lower at approximately 20% and 10% respectively. Over the next 5 years, the percentage of network members in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and
Canada
Use synonyms
 rose significantly and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nearly 70%
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 that of Mexico was lower at 35%. In 2009,
Canada
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest percentage of utilizing the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
show examples
 around 100%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
show examples
 and
Mexican
Fix the agreement mistake
Mexicans
show examples
 used the
Internet
Use synonyms
 almost 80% and 40% respectively

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, canada with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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