IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart on the right gives information about the number of students studying Computer Science at a UK university between 2010 and 2012 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given histogram illustrates the data about the figure of British home and international
students
, divided into men and women, studying Computer Science at a UK university from 2010 to 2012.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that, the trend is growing every year and that the male and female rates
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 among UK
students
, rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 between
foreigh
Correct your spelling
foreign
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
.
According to
 the bar chart,
Correct article usage
the men
show examples
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
 in 2010
amid
Change preposition
among
show examples
 locals was 39,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 the number of exchange
students
 was only 20.
Year
Add an article
A year
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 later in 2011,
Correct article usage
the citizens
show examples
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
show examples
 figure
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
approximantly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 23,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 the category of other young adults grew to 20.
Additionally
, in 2012 both groups rose significantly to 21 and 19 and became 44 and 39 in the category of British home and international learners, respectively. As can be seen from the column chart, the number of women
amid
Change preposition
among
show examples
 local people was 31,
then
 remarkably climbed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 13 and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 44, after that grew a little and reached 45 in 2010, 2011,
2012
Correct word choice
and 2012
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, respectively.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in 2010 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
erasmus
Change the capitalization
Erasmus
show examples
students
 was less than 15,
approximantly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 13-14.
However
 one year later the indicator
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 17.
Then
, in 2012 the number
has risen
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 again and reached 20.
Submitted by bellovanina97 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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