You recently heard about some new jobs at a local department store. You would like to work there. Write a letter to store manager of the department store. In your letter -Explain how you heard about the job -Describe the kind of job you would like to have - Give details of your experience and qualifications

#jobs #department #store #work #manager #-explain #job #-describe #qualifications

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Dear Sir/Madam, I hope

this

Linking Words

message finds you well. The purpose of writing

this

Linking Words

letter is to express my interest in working at your facility to gain experience and enhance my professional skills. One of my good friends has been working in your organization as a cashier for the

last

Linking Words

two years. And he informed me about a new posting in the HR department at your local department store. Because of my extroverted personality, I can easily interact with different types of people in the community.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, I have excellent communication skills

as well as

Linking Words

I am capable of completing goals in the required time frame, which would be helpful for me to apply for

this

Linking Words

Senior Recruiter role. I am fortunate that, I have graduated from the University of Waterloo with major in a Human Resource Management.

Due to

Linking Words

that, I have very good knowledge regarding how to complete the 360 recruitment cycle.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, I completed my work placement for eight months in Walmart supermarket as an HR assistant. Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your prompt reply. Yours faithfully, Dhruvi Patel

Submitted by ruchin27 on Sun Dec 22 2024

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task achievement

Ensure all paragraphs expand equally on each bullet point of the task for improved balance.

coherence cohesion

Focus more on transitioning between paragraphs to maintain subject consistency better.

coherence cohesion

The letter effectively begins with a greeting and ends with a closing, maintaining reader engagement.

task achievement

The letter provides all requested details in a suitable, formal tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

10 paragraphs

191 words

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