School should focus on teaching traditional subjects like history and math rather than practical skills like cooking or carpentry. Agree or Disagree give own opinion

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The debate over whether schools should focus solely on academic
subjects
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rather than include extracurricular lessons in their curriculum.
While
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some
said
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say
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that academic
subjects
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are essential for future careers,
other
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others
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believe practical
skills
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are equally
importance
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important
show examples
for personal development. In my view, focusing on traditional
subjects
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will
be benefits
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benefit
show examples
more in
long-term
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the long-term
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position. On the one hand, academic
subjects
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are extremely vital nowadays since
it
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they
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build a strong foundation for higher
eduacation
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education
and specialized
career
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careers
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, field
likes
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like
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medicine
require
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requires
show examples
a strong foundation of science, particularly biology.
For example
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, students with
strong
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a strong
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grasp of these
subjects
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are better
eqipped
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equipped
to compete in the job
markets
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market
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.
Moreover
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, they can develop analytic and critical thinking
skills
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, which are applicable
in
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to
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various
aspect
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aspects
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of life.
On the other hand
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, practical
skills
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are
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also play
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also
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play an
importance
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important
show examples
role because
it
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it is
it was
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necessary for personal independence
such
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as cooking and basic repairs.
For example
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, a young adult
who
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apply
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can plan, shop
groceries
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for groceries
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, and cook healthy meals without relying on takeout.
Additionally
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, not all students
persue
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pursue
academic careers; practical
skills
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provide alternative job opportunities. Some people
decided
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decide
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to study in vocational career which
need
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needs
show examples
technical
skills
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. In conclusion,
while
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acadefic
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academic
subjects
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offer
significant
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a significant
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advantage
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advantages
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for intellectual and professional growth, practical
skills
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also
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play a key role in individual
indepence
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independence
.
School
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Schools
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should provide both of these
skills
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in the curriculum to prepare students for diverse challenges.
Submitted by Prim on

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language
Ensure grammatical accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and proper use of plurals (e.g., "it build," "importance role" should be "it builds," "important role".),
task achievement
Develop the argument further by providing more elaborate explanations and examples for each point. This will enhance the depth and comprehensiveness of your response.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents both sides of the argument, weighing the importance of traditional subjects against practical skills.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the scope of the discussion, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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