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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows how frequency people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows how frequency people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates how
frequency
Replace the word
frequently
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 consume
restaurants
Use synonyms
 in the USA between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who
goes
Correct subject-verb agreement
go
show examples
 to
restaurants
Use synonyms
 once a week, once or twice a month were higher than the others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ratio of nations who do not
ate
Change the verb form
eat
show examples
 in
restaurants
Use synonyms
 was below 5%. At first in 2003 individuals who went to
restaurants
Use synonyms
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 was 4% but over time it dropped and in both years the ratio
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same.
However
Linking Words
, it was totally different with
people
Use synonyms
 who consume a few times a year, in 2003 the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of consumers was below 15% ,
although
Linking Words
 in two years it
raised
Verb problem
rose
show examples
 and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15%. The highest percentage of consuming
restaurants
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 for
people
Use synonyms
 in 2006
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
once a week and in 2013 with using once or twice a month both with approximately 32%. It is a good sign that
people
Use synonyms
 who went to
restaurants
Use synonyms
 once a week reduced gently
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 32% to 27%.
Conversely
Linking Words
, it was different for communities who ate once or twice a month, in 2006 the proportion was 25% but in 2013 it climbed massively and went to about 32%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, restaurants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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