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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The maps below show an industrial area in the town of Norbiton and planned future development of the site. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The maps illustrate the current state of
Norbiton
Correct article usage
the Norbiton
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 industrial
area
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and its proposed future development plan.
Overall
Linking Words
,the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 is expected to grow substantially with many improvements and constructions,which include shops,a medical centre,
school
Correct article usage
a school
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 ,playground.the changes with
also
Linking Words
 include
replacement
Correct article usage
the replacement
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 of factories with housing. As the first map reveals ,
Norbitton
Correct article usage
the Norbitton
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 industrial
area
Use synonyms
 is located east of the town,with a river on the northern side that
seperates
Correct your spelling
separates
 the farmland from the industrial
area
Use synonyms
,which is located in the centre of the map.The central part of the industrial
area
Use synonyms
 contains a
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
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 and two roads,these are surrounded by factories. In the future ,a bridge will be built across the river,which will provide access to the housing located in the farmland from the
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the factories around the
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
show examples
 are going to
Add a missing verb
be demolised
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demolised
Correct your spelling
demolished
demolish
 and replaced with housing.
Moreover
Linking Words
,more roads and a second smaller
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
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 will be constructed on the bigger
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
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 to access the new
buidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 that have been planned for the
area
Use synonyms
,which are,a school and a playground on the eastern side of the bigger
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
show examples
,shops and a medical centre to the southwest and southeast respectively.There will
also
Linking Words
 be more housing and a new road northwest of the bigger
Use synonyms
round about
Correct your spelling
roundabout
show examples
.
Submitted by lucyakol07 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, round with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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