There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's society, academic
seekness
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weakness
sleekness
has created a high amount of stress on the young generation. Some people believe that non-academic courses,
such
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as physical training and culinary, should be taken out of the school curriculum to give
students
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more time on educational
subjects
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,
while
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others disagree with the idea. In
this
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essay, I will explain why I disagree with the statement and provide examples to support my position.
Firstly
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, non-academic
subjects
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play a vital role in
child's
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a child's
show examples
holistic growth.
This
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is because it teaches
students
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skills which they need in their
day-to-dayday
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
life.
For instance
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, cooking skills can help a person throughout his life as everyone needs a food meal at least one time a day.
Additionally
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, non-academic
subjects
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make study more interesting.
Students
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often feel bored and sleepy at school
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while
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when
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they have a whole day of academic classes, which makes it necessary to have some classes of other activities and
subjects
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that are not academic.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by Cambridge University on 50 schools stated that
students
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find it hard to study when there is not a single class in a day for extracurricular activities.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that
such
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subjects
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should be removed to lessen the pressure on
students
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.
However
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,
students
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find non-academic
subjects
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as a
stress-bustur
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stress-buster
activity.
As a result
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, non-academic subject balances the stress on
students
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. In conclusion,
while
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it is true to some extent that non-academic
subjects
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increase the pressure on youth, the benefits of non-academic
subjects
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far outweigh the drawbacks.
Therefore
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I strongly disagree with the statement on the removal of non-academic
subjects
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from the syllabus.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that transitions between ideas are smooth. This will enhance the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Clarify some ideas where there is a slight confusion to leave no room for misinterpretation, such as explaining the connection between stress and non-academic subjects more clearly.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and conclusion, which strengthens your essay structure.
task achievement
The use of relevant specific examples, such as the Cambridge University survey, enriches the argument and makes it more compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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