IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people born in and outside of Australia living in cities, towns, and rural areas in 1950 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #australia #cities #towns #areas #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates the percentage of Australian citizens who were born in and outside of Australia in the
years
Use synonyms
 1950 and 2010
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 preferred to live in cities,
towns
Use synonyms
 or rural areas.
Overall
Linking Words
, the graph shows that in both
years
Use synonyms
 does who are
Australians
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 native and does who
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to live in cities over any other option.
Also
Linking Words
, in 1950 people that were born in Australia and outside of it, were more likely to live in rural areas than in
towns
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, that has changed over the
years
Use synonyms
, because in 2010 the percentage of
towns
Use synonyms
 and countryside is the same in does who are non-australian
native
Fix the agreement mistake
natives
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the perception of the people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were born in Australia has
change
Change the verb form
changed
show examples
 over the
years
Use synonyms
, because in 1950 they preferred to live in the countryside over
over
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
towns
Use synonyms
, but in 2010 it is the opposite.
Submitted by samuel.vicuna2003l on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, towns with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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