The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays,
people
's Use synonyms
awarness
of their rights is rising. Correct your spelling
awareness
Therefore
, there are many claims for extending weekends and having a shorter working week. Linking Words
However
, there are Linking Words
also
opponents Linking Words
for
Change preposition
to
this
perspective. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will analyse both views and express my own opinion.
On the one hand, there are those who advocate the idea of having longer weekends. Having more free Linking Words
days
will lead to less pressure during the week and more time to focus on our mental health. Use synonyms
In other words
, there Linking Words
are
a lot of pressure on workers which can Change the verb form
is
reduce
by having a longer weekend. Wrong verb form
be reduced
Additionally
, it Linking Words
also
helps employees' mental Linking Words
healths
. Fix the agreement mistake
health
Moreover
, having more spare times mean higher quality time with family and friends which may Linking Words
also
Linking Words
leads
to better performance Change the verb form
lead
in
Change preposition
on
job
. Add an article
the job
a job
For example
, longer weekends can Linking Words
boosted
Change the verb form
boost
people
's energy and cause superior results in their performances.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are others who disagree with having Linking Words
shorter
working week. They believe that Add an article
a shorter
instead
of having shorter Linking Words
work
hours, companies should offer more generous benefits like rewards or office parties. More benefits will Use synonyms
furthermore
Linking Words
caused
job satisfaction and productivity. Another issue is nowadays Change the verb form
cause
be caused
people
are dealing with lots of Use synonyms
economical
problems and cutting their Replace the word
economic
work
Use synonyms
days
means Use synonyms
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
work
hours and lower incomes, which is not beneficial for Use synonyms
workers
lives. Change noun form
workers'
worker's
For instance
, in my country Linking Words
people
are dealing with high costs of living and reducing their salaries only Use synonyms
caused
more poverty.
Wrong verb form
causes
To conclude
, having Linking Words
a
fewer Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
work
Use synonyms
days
may lead to better performance and mental health of an individual. Use synonyms
While
it Linking Words
also
causes poverty in the societies. Personally, I believe it is not Linking Words
benefical
to reduce Correct your spelling
beneficial
work
Use synonyms
days
. Use synonyms
Instead
of Linking Words
it
companies should boost their benefits to gain more productive employees.Add a comma
it,
Submitted by Mahshad
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Make sure your examples are more specific and clearly related to the main points. For instance, specify a particular country or situation when discussing economic issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure consistent use of plurals and subject-verb agreement (e.g., "there is a lot of pressure" or "workers' mental health").
Task Achievement
Develop the argument further by providing more comprehensive reasoning and supporting it with more detailed examples.
Introduction and Conclusion Present
The essay has a clear introduction that outlines both sides of the argument, setting a solid foundation for the discussion.
Logical Structure
Well-organized structure with paragraphs dedicated to each viewpoint, helping the reader follow the argument.
Supported Main Points
Good attempt to provide examples to support points, such as the impact of economic conditions on workers.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.