IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below give information on the percentage of British people giving money to charity by age range for the year 1990 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#information #percentage #british #people #money #charity #age #range #year #features #comparison
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart presents the proportion of British
citizie
Correct your spelling
citizens
citizen
 donating their money to charity by the
age
Use synonyms
rang
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
 between 1990 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from
this
Linking Words
 bar chart that it has
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
 and a
nember
Correct your spelling
number
member
 of
age
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can see that the
age
Use synonyms
 range 36 to 50 has reached its
peaks
Fix the agreement mistake
peak
show examples
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least amount has been spent on charity was between
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 18 to 25.
According to
Linking Words
 what it
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
, in 1990 the amount of money that
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 donated was between the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 36-50 which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
shows
Correct article usage
an increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in number
while
Linking Words
 in 2010 it went down slightly to 35%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, between
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 18 to 25 it has clearly
display
Change the verb form
displayed
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 slight rise in 1990
while
Linking Words
 the
oppsite
Correct your spelling
opposite
 in 2010
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 decline
dramaticlly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 around 5% and 10%. Most
noticeably
Change the word
noticeable
show examples
 of all, it can be seen that the
age
Use synonyms
 51-65 in 1990 decreased to 35%
while
Linking Words
 in the other year which is 2010 has rose slightly
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
 under 40%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, 65
age
Use synonyms
 or above
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010 has been stable at 35 % just like the
age
Use synonyms
 51-65,
while
Linking Words
 in 1990 went down just under
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2010 between 30% to 35%.
Submitted by rnoo95366 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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