IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays many people choose to be self employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. what could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years with
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 population people
prefer
Wrong verb form
have preferred
show examples
 to
make
Verb problem
start
show examples
 their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of
work
Use synonyms
 for other people. There are several reasons why
this
Linking Words
 case happens and there are
also
Linking Words
 a number of drawbacks in starting your own business. One reason why people choose to
work
Use synonyms
 for themselves is the freedom they have to do things
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their own way. Working for oneself allows for more flexibility in making
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
 because you are not affected by existing rules but rather you make the rules.
For instance
Linking Words
, freelancers may prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 from home or
while
Linking Words
 on vacation, rather than have to
work
Use synonyms
 in an office all the time.
However
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for themselves
also
Linking Words
 comes with its drawbacks. One of the main
set-back
Correct your spelling
setbacks
show examples
 is that we can’t be sure of the steady income that we have, because we cannot determine how much we can earn today, it is different if we
work
Use synonyms
 for someone else, we don't have to think about it. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 working for oneself provides flexibility and independence, it
also
Linking Words
 brings the challenge of financial instability.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on the examples given or add more specific instances to strengthen support for your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain the link between the reasons and the topic to make the argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs further.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introductory paragraph that sets the context effectively.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained with clear divisions between the points about advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and addresses the question effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: