Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that most people utilize online services through their digital devices to

transfer

Use synonyms

money

Use synonyms

to different destinations for various individuals and companies.

This

Linking Words

essay considers

this

Linking Words

statement to be a positive advancement because it is a safer option

also

Linking Words

it can be beneficial for the environment. There is less risk in transferring

money

Use synonyms

via the Internet and online. The chance of robbery would significantly decrease by using

this

Linking Words

method.

For instance

Linking Words

, people do not have to carry lots of cash with them and constantly worry about getting robbed. It is much more secure to

transfer

Use synonyms

money

Use synonyms

by utilizing their phone

instead

Linking Words

of having it with them everywhere in case they need it. Recent research concluded that the rate of robbery in countries that mostly use online

transfer

Use synonyms

is extremely low. Another reason for considering

this

Linking Words

way of payment and

money

Use synonyms

transfer

Use synonyms

a positive gesture would be the benefits it brings to the environment. As people utilize online services more, the demand for physical forms of

money

Use synonyms

will definitely drop, and by that, the need for paper will

also

Linking Words

decline.

As a result

Linking Words

, the use of trees and woods for

this

Linking Words

purpose will decrease. In conclusion,

This

Linking Words

essay believes that using cell phones for transferring

money

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of handing it over personally in its physical form, is a positive development

due to

Linking Words

their safety and benefits for the nature and environment.

Submitted by faranakasadzadian on Thu Dec 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples and statistical data to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical to enhance the overall flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly states the topic and your position on the matter, setting a good foundation for the essay.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear purpose and stays focused on a single idea, contributing to a strong structure.

task achievement

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
6.Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?
As a result, is social media and the internet, celebrities' profiles increased as have their income sources. In fact, many professionals profile more earnings, even political public figures. In this essay, I will examine two main reasons for this and explain why I feel this situation is a positive one.
<4
band
Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, in modern society, many people believe that in order to get a good job, someone must graduate and have a degree from university. Meanwhile, others believe that besides completing and having a degree from a university, experience and soft skills are more needed to secure a good job. Both sides will be elaborated on in this essay, and i will present my point of view on this issue.
6
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Public health is a multifaceted concern, and the approaches to enhancing it vary widely. While some argue that an increase in sports facilities is the key to a healthier society, others contend that this strategy falls short of addressing the complexities of public health. In this essay, I will explore both perspectives before presenting my own opinion on the matter.
4
band
Parents and teachers make many rules for children to increase good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children wood benefit from fever rules and greater freedom. To what extent do. You agree or disagree?
The issue of whether parents ought to implement a lot of regulations for their kids has prompted considerable debate. While many advocates for this, because it enables the children to pick up good characters and keep them away from societal pit holes, which I completely agree with. Others contend against it. Analyzing these facts will give a comprehensive overview of the subject matter.
5
band
It is universally accepted that eating too much sugar has negative effects on people’s health. Therefore, some believe that governments should control the amount of sugar people consume. Others think that it is the responsibility of an individual to control their sugar intake. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that consuming a large amount of processed sugar brings detrimental health issues. Some people believe that the authorities should limit individual's sugar consumption while others say that individuals are the primary responsible to regulate their sugar intake. This essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

6.Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Parents and teachers make many rules for children to increase good behaviour and protect them from danger. However, children wood benefit from fever rules and greater freedom. To what extent do. You agree or disagree?