In my countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the world

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

a very connected place

thans

Correct your spelling

thanks

than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology.

Unfortunetly

Correct your spelling

Unfortunately

devoloping

Correct your spelling

developing

technology has brought with it some crimes. My personal opinion is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

parent

Add an article

the parent

a parent

show examples

should

under

Change preposition

apply

show examples

control

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

smartphones and social media

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

show examples

. Even under eighteen years old teenagers should have not any social media

account

Fix the agreement mistake

accounts

show examples

.Dark web which is

incloud

Correct your spelling

include

included

some crimes on the internet.

A someone

Correct article usage

Someone

show examples

who is used dark web could access weapon robbery, narcotic and child abuse pictures etc.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there

some

Add a missing verb

are some

show examples

digital movie platforms

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

lots of fight movies or series.

Naturally

Add a comma

Naturally,

show examples

children can influence badly. From my point of view, movie directors and digital creators should produce

usefull

Correct your spelling

useful

films and advertisements.

For example

Linking Words

smoking or using narcotics

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

human

Add an article

the human

show examples

body. It seems to me that digital platforms should

control

Wrong verb form

be controlled

show examples

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

and authorities.

Goverments

Correct your spelling

Governments

Government

should block access to movies, violent images and video games harmful

for

Change preposition

show examples

children. To summarise, I

deffinetly

Correct your spelling

definitely

aggre

Correct your spelling

agree

with

this

Linking Words

idea.

OscarM

Dec 26, 2024

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task achievement

The essay does present an opinion on the topic and supports this view, but it requires a clearer structure. Start with a more defined introduction and finish with a comprehensive conclusion that summarizes your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay needs clearer and more cohesive paragraphs. Each point should have its paragraph and connect logically to the next. Use linking words and appropriate transition sentences to improve the flow between ideas.

task achievement

The writer clearly states their opinion, agreeing with the notion that violent images on television and in games contribute to increased crime.

task achievement

The essay mentions various concerns, including social media, dark web activities, and digital content, indicating awareness of a broad range of issues related to technology and crime.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

158 words

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In my countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, people spend long hours at work. Why does this happen? Is it positive or negative development?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.otgers argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.