IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The picture depicts about how creating of sugar from sugar canes. Overall, this process includes seven main stages, starting with the growing of the sugar cane and culminating the production of dried and cooled sugar.

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To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 allowed to
fully
Add a missing verb
be fully
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grown
Verb problem
apply
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in nature
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a period from 12 to 18 months before undergoing
harvesting
Correct article usage
the harvesting
show examples
 process. In
this
Linking Words
 stage, they are automatically harvested by specialized machines or cut down by farmers. And
then
Linking Words
, these collected
sugar
Use synonyms
 canes are put into specialized
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
show examples
 to produce juice. In the next phase,
this
Linking Words
 liquid is
pourified
Correct your spelling
purified
 by a limestone filter to eliminate
imparities
Correct your spelling
impurities
show examples
.
These
Change the determiner
This
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 filtered product is heated
in
Change preposition
to
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temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
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 in the evaporator stage, where juice
turn
Change the verb form
turns
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 into syrup.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
crgstals
Correct your spelling
crystals
 are separated from
Correct article usage
the syurp
show examples
syurp
Correct your spelling
syrup
 in the centrifuge step before being transferred to the final step. In the end, the syrup is completely dried and cooled in a barrel,
hence
Linking Words
sugar
Use synonyms
 is produced.

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task response
Be mindful of minor spelling and grammatical errors like 'pourified' instead of 'purified' and 'crgstals' instead of 'crystals'. In formal writing, it's important to maintain accurate spelling and grammar.
coherence cohesion
Some transition words like 'and then' and 'following this' are used successfully, but try to vary the language for smoother transitions between stages.
task response
Consider using more precise verbs, such as 'are grown' instead of 'are allowed to fully grown', to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
The description of the process is clear and follows a logical sequence, which makes it easy to understand each stage from start to finish.
task response
Providing detailed steps, from growing to drying, gives a comprehensive overview and illustrates a complete process.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the process effectively, maintaining an organized and structured presentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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