IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Others believe that every invidiual should be responsible for it . Dicuss both views and give your own opinion Thao

#people #environment #government #responsibility #dicuss #thao
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The
environment
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 is an important foundation to ensure survival and sustainability.
While
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 some
people
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 believe that protecting the
environment
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 is the
government
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's responsibility, in my opinion, individuals must take action to protect it. There are many reasons why some
people
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 believe that the
government
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 is responsible for protecting the
environment
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.The
government
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 plays a role in establishing laws to protect the
environment
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, helping to control and sustainable development. The
government
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 gives regulations to society,
such
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 as banning the disposal of waste to prevent problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 pollution. Check maximum emission levels for factories, vehicles and other sources of pollution,
this
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 will be done in the near future.
A recent
Remove the article
Recent
show examples
 research shows that after carrying out
this
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 law, air pollution levels decreased.
On the other hand
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, every individual
also
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 has an important role in protecting the
environment
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 where they are living. Only action mini but it can create huge effects .
People
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 should use reusable and alternative plastic
such
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 as cartons, and bags .
In addition
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, the citizens are encouraged to use public transportation .
This
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 helps minimise the carbon dioxide effect on the
environment
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, clean the atmosphere , and improve health.
For example
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 , research has recently shown that 80% of
people
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 use public transportation not only for make
environment
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 but
also
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 for user health to improve in conclusion, not only the
government
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 respond but
also
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 humans should be aware of issues about the
environment
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 , we can effectively solve environmental problems and action to save it for our future .
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with clear supporting evidence. For example, the paragraph discussing individual responsibilities could benefit from more specific examples and developed points.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving coherence by using transitional phrases to provide a smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by more explicitly stating your opinion and summarizing key arguments to make your stance clear and persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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