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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)

The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)
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The line graph illustrates how many
Use synonyms
megatonne
Change to a plural noun
megatonnes
show examples
 of
air
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 pollution
produced
Add a missing verb
were produced
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 by four different sources,
transport
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, industry, total
air
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pollutants
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 and households, in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, industry, total
air
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pollutants
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 and households witnessed an increase during
this
Linking Words
 15-year
period
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,
while
Linking Words
 only
transport
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 remained steady around the same level throughout
this
Linking Words
period
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. For total
air
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pollutants
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, it began at around 7 million tonnes in 1990,
then
Linking Words
 it dropped dramatically to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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exact
Change the word
exactly
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 4 million tonnes in 1999, before decreasing slightly to just below 4
Use synonyms
megatonne
Change to a plural noun
megatonnes
show examples
 in 2002 and
finally
Linking Words
 ended at approximately 3
Use synonyms
megatonne
Change to a plural noun
megatonnes
show examples
 in 2005.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
air
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pollutants
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 figure in 1990 was just below 6
MT
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 before dropping significantly to around 3
MT
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 in 1996,
then
Linking Words
 it continued decreasing to 2
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megatonne
Change to a plural noun
megatonnes
show examples
 in 2005.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only
transport
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 and household hovered at around 1
MT
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 in 1990.
While
Linking Words
air
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 pollution produced by households saw a decrease over the
period
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and ended at just over 0
MT
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,
transport
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 remained at around the same level, which was approximately 1
MT
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 for
this
Linking Words
 15-year
period
Use synonyms
, despite some little fluctuations.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words megatonne, air, transport, pollutants, period, mt with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • air pollutants
  • emissions
  • decrease
  • increase
  • stable
  • fluctuate
  • trend
  • peak
  • drop
  • significant
  • legislation
  • technological advancements
  • comparative analysis
  • contributors
  • households
  • transport
  • industry
  • regulation
  • pattern
  • anomaly
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