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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)

The graph below shows different sources of air pollutants in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)
The graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 how each source of air
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
show examples
 in the UK changed from
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
 of 1990 to 2005. From the measurements,
it is clear that
Linking Words
industry
Correct article usage
the industry
show examples
 sector took
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 portion to the total air
polltants
Correct your spelling
pollutants
 but
was decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 for
entire
Add an article
the entire
show examples
period
Use synonyms
, followed by
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
show examples
 and
households
Change the noun form
household
show examples
 sectors respectively. From 1990 onwards, the industry had decreased from about 7
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and significantly dropped to around 3
million
Use synonyms
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 in the
period
Use synonyms
 of 1993 to 1996. After 1996. Industry figures were converging to around 2
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, which was quite similar to
Correct article usage
the households
show examples
households
Fix the agreement mistake
household
show examples
 sector
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was slightly decreasing toward zero
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. Those two were different from the transport sector, which had about a constant 1
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
 and showed little fluctuation
overall
Linking Words
. In general, The UK was steadily reducing the amount of total air pollutants throughout the given
period
Use synonyms
, for a span of fifteen consecutive years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • air pollutants
  • emissions
  • decrease
  • increase
  • stable
  • fluctuate
  • trend
  • peak
  • drop
  • significant
  • legislation
  • technological advancements
  • comparative analysis
  • contributors
  • households
  • transport
  • industry
  • regulation
  • pattern
  • anomaly
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