Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. But others believe that should focus on subjects that they are good at or that they find the most interest discuss both side and give your opinion.

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Now days
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Nowadays
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, some people think
the
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apply
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students need to be
focuse
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focused
focus
more
in
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on
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school
crroculim
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curriculum
. But, others believe that should look at
interest
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interesting
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subject
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subjects
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.
This
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essay will discuss both said and
In
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apply
show examples
conclusions will draw my personal opinion. First,some people think that school curriculum is very important to
teenager's
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teenagers
teenager
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for several reasons.
Firstly
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,
help
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helps
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teenagers to learn more about
our
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their
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life experiences .
such
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as, in
mathmatics
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mathematics
learn how
count
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to count
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,
how
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and how
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deal
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to deal
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with
market
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the market
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. One day my
brothers
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brother
show examples
was a teenager. He was
a
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apply
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good
in
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at
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marketing because he tried to use
a
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apply
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mathematical in
here
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her
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life
In
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On
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another
Correct determiner usage
the
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hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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, they're
thought
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thought to
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learn teenager
Wrong verb form
learning
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a specific subject is very important because
,
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apply
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it helps them to improve their hobbies and their interests in
the
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apply
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life.
For example
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, those teenagers
whose
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who are
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deeply on art subjects . It helps them to be in the future a good artist.
However
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, It helps them to get a good economy by
sell
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selling
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their tolls. In
conclusions
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conclusion
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, after
cleaver
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a cleaver
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analysis
both
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of both
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points. I will draw my personal opinion. In my point of view, l
think
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think to
show examples
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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tenageer
Correct your spelling
teenager
a specific subject is very good because it helps them to be ready to get a professional occupation in the future.
Submitted by Loody on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow and organization of your essay. Use clear paragraphing and transitions to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Aim for a more thorough and developed response by expanding on the main points with additional detail and analysis.
task achievement
Clarify ideas to ensure they are comprehensive and easy to follow. Avoid repetitive language and sentences.
general advice
Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for clarity and precision.
task achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
An attempt was made to conclude the essay and provide a personal opinion, which is well-aligned with the task requirements.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • broad educational foundation
  • well-rounded individuals
  • versatile skill set
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • natural talent
  • higher motivation
  • deeper understanding
  • career success
  • specialization
  • depth over breadth
  • focused study
  • expertise
  • middle ground
  • curriculum
  • fostering individual talents
  • engaged learners
  • successful professionals
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