Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as sahara desert and antartica. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists to visit such places.

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Nowadays numerous travelers are visiting those areas where conditions are complicated
such
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as
desert
Correct article usage
the desert
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and Antarctica . I believe it to be highly beneficial, not only because of wildlife experience
,
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apply
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but
also
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because of incline in the
jobs
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job
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opportunities .
However
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, many might think
otherwise
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.
This
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essay will explore how these mega advantages have the potential to outshine any drawbacks. There are numerous benefits linked to
this
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development.
Firstly
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, a major benefit associated with
this
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growth is
experience
Add an article
the experience
an experience
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of wildlife .
As these
Correct word choice
These
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types of scenery can be only seen in certain places.
For example
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, many tourists
visits
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visit
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Arab nations to see the scenery of
a deserts
Correct the article-noun agreement
deserts
a desert
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and
also
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feel the beauty of
a
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apply
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nature.
Thus
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,
this
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benefit can clearly overshadow any disadvantage.
Secondly
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, another major merit linked with
this
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development is the significant increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economic growth.
As because
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Because
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of
travelers
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travellers
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,in
such
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places
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places,
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there will
also
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a
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be a
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security and food
arrangement
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arrangements
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which is a brilliant opportunity for those individuals who are facing
an
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apply
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unemployment.
For instance
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, in European
Antarctica
Add a comma
Antarctica,
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there is numerous job
vaccany
Correct your spelling
vacancy
because of many tourists visiting it frequently basis.
Hence
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,
this
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benefit can
also
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single-handedly undermine any flaw.
However
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, the only drawback that I can relate
with
Change preposition
to
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this
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growth is the unavailability of emergency services.
As in
Change preposition
In
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those
places
Add a comma
places,
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there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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no hospitals and
a
Correct article usage
no
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fire bargains even far away. To
Correct your spelling
sum up
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sum-up
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sum up
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, I believe that the advantages of
this
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development in terms of work opportunities and unique experience of
such
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areas have the potential to outweigh any disadvantage
Submitted by nidarif855 on

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Task Achievement
Be careful with the introduction. While it's good to express a clear opinion, try to avoid presumptions like "However, many might think otherwise." Stick to presenting balanced views first.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument. For instance, include data on how tourism impacts job markets or specific wildlife experiences.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to include topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to clearly state what each paragraph will be discussing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on smooth transitions between points for better flow. Use linking words like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' or 'on the other hand' to enhance connectivity.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, giving a clear preview and summary of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
You provided a logical structure by discussing benefits first and then the drawbacks, which is easy to follow.
Task Achievement
The essay attempts to cover both sides of the argument, which shows balance in the task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote locations
  • unique landscapes
  • wildlife
  • sense of adventure
  • educational value
  • diverse ecosystems
  • trekking
  • icebergs
  • extreme climates
  • geographical formations
  • personal growth
  • local economies
  • tourist infrastructure
  • environmental and conservation issues
  • physical challenges
  • health risks
  • environmental degradation
  • delicate ecosystems
  • cultural sites
  • sustainable practices
  • pollution
  • equity of access
  • natural wonders
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