Some people think that high-end technology can prevent and cut down the crime rate. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an
opinions
Change the noun form
opinion
show examples
that the
crime
Use synonyms
rate can be prohibited by
technology
Use synonyms
that
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
invested
huge
Change preposition
in huge
show examples
money. I personally completely agree with
this
Linking Words
assertion since
this
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
can find certain evidence about
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
criminal activity.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are two major reasons why
tecnnology
Correct your spelling
technology
certainly
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, speed CCTV cameras can drop 과속 차량( over speed cars) because police would enforce money penalties(벌금) tham by speed CCTV cameras. To explain, on the road, many individuals
Add a missing verb
are damage
show examples
damage
Replace the word
damaged
show examples
or die through speed
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
accidents.
Therefore
Linking Words
, installing speed CCTV cameras in front of crosswalks
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
many people walk prevents a large number of cars
not
Change preposition
from not
show examples
only to over speed but
also
Linking Words
be damaged
Wrong verb form
damaging
show examples
or
died them
Wrong verb form
dying
show examples
because if they do not keep the law, they have to pay
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
uncountless money as criminal
penalty
Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
show examples
. On top of that, airports could reduce serious
crime
Use synonyms
and terrorism by
technology
Use synonyms
that
scaner
Correct your spelling
scans
baggage. To explain, in the past time, dangerous
crime
Use synonyms
and terrorism happened in almost all
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
due to
Linking Words
they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
not have
way
Add an article
a way
show examples
to censor exactly what
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
in their
baggages
Change the wording
baggage
pieces of baggage
items of baggage
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, all
airport
Fix the agreement mistake
airports
show examples
have
devide
Correct your spelling
devices
and technologies that clearly censor
dangeous
Correct your spelling
dangerous
products
such
Linking Words
as 마약, a nife and a lighter, which it is difficult for criminals to 범죄를 일으키기.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, the
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
show examples
of terrorism and serious accidents indicated.
As a result
Linking Words
,
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
safely use the
airplan
Correct your spelling
aeroplane
. In conclusion, high-end
technology
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a positive effect on preventing
crime
Use synonyms
.
it is clear that
Linking Words
dangerous problems and accidents not only on the road but
also
Linking Words
in the airport are
dropped
Verb problem
caused
show examples
by
this
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to offer more specific examples that are directly related to your main points, rather than broad generalizations.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph supports the main idea with evidence or examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion which frame the essay well.
task achievement
Demonstrates a good attempt to answer the prompt with logical ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: