In some countries, people are choosing to live alone rather than with their families. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In many countries,
joint
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the joint
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family trend is decreasing now and people
are preferring
Wrong verb form
prefer
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to live alone without their near ones. Modernisation changed the way of living. I think
this
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is a completely negative development and
this
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contains many consequences
such
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as lack of support has major
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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. The second setback is loneliness.
This
Linking Words
essay will examine these problems with relevant examples. To commence with,
this
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shift has many disadvantages.
Firstly
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, a person will struggle with poor support from family
such
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as physical, mental and financial
supports
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support
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which means he has faced everything on
own
Correct pronoun usage
his own
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behalf.
Moreover
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,
Correct article usage
the elder
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elder
Correct your spelling
older
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generation has
better
Correct article usage
a better
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experience of life and they can guide
their
Change the word
the
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newest generation to handle different conflicts to fulfil their personal
as well as
Linking Words
professional commitments.
For example
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, a recent study
of
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by
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York University found that 93%
children
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of children
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who are living with their parents have excellent problem-solving skills and they are capable
to handle
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of handling
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any situation as compared to those who are living alone.
Furthermore
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,
this
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kind of shift gives rise to loneliness which can cause some serious issues.
To begin
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with, isolation from family can enhance many mental health problems
such
Linking Words
as depression,
anxiety
Correct word choice
and anxiety
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which can increase the chances of heart attack and brain damage, as
person
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a person
the person
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is not able to express their feeling about stress in front of anyone.
Moreover
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,
this
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trend increases the separation cases because no one wants to take responsibility
of
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for
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any other.
For instance
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,
a
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the
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latest research found that 65%
divorce
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of divorce
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cases increased in Russia in
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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decade because of
this
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separate living.
To conclude
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, independent living is a common trend now and
this
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is causing many adverse effects on
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
life. The major elements of
this
Linking Words
option are poor support of family and isolation from society which are causing serious impacts on life.
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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing your essay's coherence by using more cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to ensure that all parts of your essay flow smoothly from one to another. This will help in connecting your ideas in a more seamless manner.
task achievement
In the discussion section, make sure to present opposing viewpoints more clearly to increase the completeness of your response. Addressing counterarguments will help demonstrate a more balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and logical structure, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs that explore different aspects of the topic, and concluding with a summary of your stance.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the study from York University and the research on divorce rates in Russia. These examples help to substantiate your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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