IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If all workers in a company were paid exact same wage regardless of job role there would be much more harmony and cooperation between staff. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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If all employees in a firm were paid
same
Change the article
the same
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 salary regardless of work position there would be much more harmony and collaboration between
workforce
Correct article usage
the workforce
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.
However
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 payment systems will lead to
unsatisfaction
Replace the word
dissatisfaction
show examples
 in workplaces and provide unfair wages.
This
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 essay will discuss
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 sides of
this
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 opinion.
Firstly
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, there are significant job roles in
company
Add an article
the company
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 which
required
Wrong verb form
require
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 specific skills and
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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.
For instance
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, these requirements belong university degree.
On the other hand
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, doing some special
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 is necessary
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
 certificates and courses.
According to
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 these requirements, many people spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 in
unversities
Correct your spelling
universities
 and
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
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. But, these demands are not essential for
techinical
Correct your spelling
technical
 jobs
such
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 as receptionist and many people can do the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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.
This
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realty
Correct your spelling
reality
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 must be
realize
Wrong verb form
realised
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 fairly and the best way for it is
wage
Fix the infinitive
to wage
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 discrepancy.
Thus
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, there are many
diffirences
Correct your spelling
differences
 in job duties. Some positions have several high duties and they impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies,
for
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 directors’ decisions determine
strategies
Correct article usage
the strategies
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 and directions of companies.
Additionally
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, some workers play
vital
Add an article
a vital
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 role and provide many benefits for firms. Their activity effect significantly status and incomes of businesses.
A
Correct article usage
apply
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Research
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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concluded by Berlin University demonstrated there are 3 professions that legal entity depends on: lawyer, tax specialist and management.
It is clear that
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 some jobs have vital importance and high wages must provide for them. In conclusion,
Exact
Change the word
Exactly
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same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 wage regardless of job role will lead to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of motivation and conflicts at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. Employees may consider
this
Linking Words
 payment method unfairly and
this
Linking Words
 system can cause feeling unvalued.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that every supporting point directly relates to it. This helps enhance the overall logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
While you have addressed both sides of the topic, try to balance the arguments or provide stronger support for the perspective you eventually take.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas more clearly and succinctly. Sometimes using simpler language helps convey your argument more effectively.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses the potential consequences of a uniform wage system on employee motivation and fairness, which is relevant to the task.
coherence cohesion
Conclusion provides a clear summary of the essay's argument, reinforcing the main points discussed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harmony
  • cohesion
  • financial incentive
  • productivity
  • equity
  • organizational culture
  • highly skilled professionals
  • innovation and competitiveness
  • redistribution of tasks
  • job satisfaction
  • meritocracy
  • contributions and achievements
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