IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart revealed data about the produced coffee in tonnes in four different countries including Brazil, Colombia, Indonesia and Vietnam for from 1990 to 2010 with five and ten years gap

#bar #data #coffee #tonnes #four #countries #brazil #colombia #indonesia #vietnam #five #ten #years #gap
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The chart gives information about produced
coffee
Use synonyms
 in four states between 1990 and 2010 by a five-year gap.
Overall
Linking Words
Brazil
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's market for
coffee
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 expanded in the survey period,
whereas
Linking Words
 caffeine yield had reduced in two decades.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Indonesia, and Vietnam’s manufacturing plateaued in the same year.
To begin
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 with
Brazil
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, their
coffee
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 bean’s growth demonstrated a
a
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apply
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continuous rise in twenty years, which proves that
Brazil
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 was a winner among the countries. It can be seen that production was 0.7 million tonnes in 1990, and It reached approximately 1.9 million tonnes in 2010.
In contrast
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, Colombian manufacturing showed a stable drop all the time. In 1990, their yield was almost the same (0.6) as
Brazil
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's, which made them the front-runner in 1990. They saved the place for ten years;
however
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, in 2010 they lost the place to Indonesia
,
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apply
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 and became one of the states that generated the least amount of
coffee
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the bars of the two countries (Indonesia and Vietnam) showed a slight rise after being flat from 1990 to 1995. Since
then
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 their manufactured tonnes started to grow, reaching 0.4 and 0.3 respectively. It can be proven that Brazilians’ reserve stands out the most in the graph. It can be predicted Colombia had faced problems or plans to not increase
this
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 market. The other two countries started to expand their caffeine business.
Submitted by Ariunaa on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in terminology throughout the essay. For example, use either 'coffee production' or 'coffee yield' consistently.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors such as 'a a continuous rise' which should be 'a continuous rise'.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of the trends in coffee production among the four countries, which is an essential part of achieving a high Task Achievement score.
task achievement
The use of specific data points from the bar chart, such as '0.7 million tonnes in 1990' and '1.9 million tonnes in 2010', strengthens the relevance and specificity in the task response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with each paragraph focusing on one or two countries, helping maintain coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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