IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Fossil fuel is the main source of energy. In some countries, the use of alternative sources of energy is encouraged. Is this a positive or negative development?

#fuel #source #energy #countries #alternative #sources #development
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In the modern era, the world’s
energy
Use synonyms
 demand is increasing every year. Fossil fuel is very popular in many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 and it's becoming exhausted.
Therefore
Linking Words
, scientists are looking for renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources and some cities have adopted them. In my view,
greener
Correct article usage
a greener
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 substitute is a positive trend. On the one hand, there are many objections to using alternative
energy
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 type of
energy
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 is too expensive to produce and store, so less developed natives are not applicable.
Second,
Linking Words
power generated from renewable
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 is not enough to meet the demands of most nations.
For example
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,
Viet Nam
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
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 uses fossil
energy
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 as the main
energy
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 because it is in
development
Add an article
the development
a development
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 stage and not enough cost to satisfy the need.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are some restrictions, many countries advocate
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 use
power
Change preposition
of power
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 generated from renewable
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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. Alternative
energy
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 reduces the impact on the environment and
have
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has
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low
Correct article usage
a low
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 carbon footprint compared
fossil
Change preposition
to fossil
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 fuel.
Such
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 as wind and solar power, which will not worry about shortages in the future.
Additional
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Additionally
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, renewable
energy
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 stimulates innovation and job creation. As governments invest in greener substitute infrastructure and technologies, new industries and employment opportunities emerge. In conclusion, the encouragement of alternative
energy
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 sources is driven by the need to address environmental concerns and promote sustainable development. By reducing carbon footprint and fostering economic growth.
Therefore
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, it is crucial for countries to continue investing in research,
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
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, and advocate policy that
support
Change the verb form
supports
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 the widespread adoption of renewable
energy
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, ensuring a cleaner and more sustainable
energy
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 future.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure subject-verb agreement, such as changing 'many country' to 'many countries'.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic.
Task Achievement
You clearly address the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects of renewable energy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy sources
  • wind, solar, and hydroelectric power
  • sustainable solution
  • finite resources
  • inexhaustible
  • economic growth
  • renewable energy infrastructure
  • health benefits
  • respiratory diseases
  • energy independence
  • energy security
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