IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In some countries, increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.government should impose hig tax rate on fast foodAgree or disagree

#countries #people #health #food #government #hig #tax #rate #foodagree
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There is no denying the fact that various factors lead to health problems.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that consuming fast
food
Use synonyms
 is the main factor of
this
Linking Words
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
, people encourage governments to impose high taxes on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
Use synonyms
 in order to minimize its adverse effect.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion.
To begin
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 with, processed
food
Use synonyms
conssist
Correct your spelling
consists
consist
 of bad elements that will cause health problems. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that, it
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a
significan
Correct your spelling
significant
 role in blood pressure and heart
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
 based on various studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, diabetes is not a recent disorder, but
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 growth significantly because of the amount of fast
food
Use synonyms
 that people consume
due to
Linking Words
 our rabid
lif-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 these days.
For example
Linking Words
, people who do not have sufficient time to eat healthy meals have
haigher
Correct your spelling
higher
 chances
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
suffring
Correct your spelling
suffering
 from
maladie
Correct your spelling
maladies
.
Submitted by omima7a7md on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, aim to provide more comprehensive arguments both for and against the imposition of high taxes on fast food. This will lead to a more balanced and thorough presentation of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on your coherence by ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one. Use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining the introduction and conclusion. Your essay should have a clear introduction that states the argument and a conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure grammatical accuracy and proper use of articles and tenses, which can improve readability.
task achievement
The essay introduces the issue of fast food consumption and its link to health problems effectively, setting up the premise for discussion.
relevance
The argument regarding the impact of fast food on health disorders is relevant and specific, adding depth to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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