Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

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Social
media
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plays an important role in today's
world
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.
People
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of all ages spend a lot of time on social
media
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and today, international communication
easier
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is easier
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than before because access to the internet has been advanced and most
people
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possess at the very least a social
media
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account. Generally, social
media
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is used as
atool
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a tool
for reading news, entertainment and gossip. Thanks to social
media
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living integre to
world
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is an advantage since individuals may gain points of view,
however
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, social
media
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has some
disadvantages
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as well.
For instance
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, entire social
media
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want our personal
information
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to access that
media
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therefore
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, our personal
information
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is transferred to other persons, countries or firms. In my opinion, the advantages of social
media
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outweigh the
disadvantages
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but, we should not ignore its
disadvantages
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either.
Firstly
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, newspaper and reading book rates decreased so, most
the
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apply
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people
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tend to online
platforms
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which is social
media
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has become the new mainstream
media
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, in
this
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way
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way,
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people
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may interact with each other and learn
that being
Verb problem
about
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issues in the
world
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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who integrate
to
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into
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world
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the world
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better present foresight about with new order of the
world
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and
this
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interaction might lead to new discussions
hence
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,
people
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may possess different views.
On the other hand
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, unfortunately, there are some harmful of social
media
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such
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as, entire online
platforms
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wanting our personal
information
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and
this
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situation leads to risks to security.
Furthermore
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, we do not know to whom the stolen
information
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was given. Our special
information
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which lots of countries and individuals, may be used against us one day. If we are used carefully and
we
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apply
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do not subscribe without security
platforms
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, we may decrease the rate of risk on social
media
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for us.
To sum up
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, there are advantages and
disadvantages
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of social
media
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and
this
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balance changes
according to
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persons' how to use it. In my opinion, its benefits outweigh the damage since social
media
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is the reality in our lives that we cannot escape .
Thus
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,
instead
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of avoiding social
media
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, we should use it carefully and not share our
information
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on
platforms
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that we do not trust.
Submitted by duygulaleoglu on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point and that the essay flows smoothly from one idea to another.
task achievement
Clarify and expand on some of your ideas to make them more comprehensive and easier to understand.
coherence and cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
task achievement
The writer addresses both advantages and disadvantages of social media, showcasing a balanced view.
task achievement
The essay maintains a good level of engagement with the topic, reflecting a genuine understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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