The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university/college lecturer.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university/college lecturer.
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The graphs give information about the correlation between
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of works and how it
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stress levels which
presented
Add a missing verb
is presented
show examples
by 8
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
professions.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bar chart
present
Change the verb form
presents
show examples
the
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
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from each
professions
Change to a singular noun
profession
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including writers, doctors, chefs, lecturers, lawyers, movie producers, programmers, and
busines
Correct your spelling
business
men. Meanwhile, the pie chart provides information about the percentage of people who
suffering
Change the form of the verb
suffer
show examples
from
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
illness. It is obvious that
Business men
Correct your spelling
Businessmen
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the most occupied people
Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
who
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have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
70 working
hours
Use synonyms
per week, followed by movie producers
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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is 60
hours
Use synonyms
per week,
then
Linking Words
followed by 3 different jobs which
are have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
substantional
Correct your spelling
substantial
working
hours
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as doctors, writers, and programmers about 50
hours
Use synonyms
, 45
hours
Use synonyms
and 40
hours
Use synonyms
respectively. Other professions like lawyers, chefs, and lecturers have minimal working
hours
Use synonyms
because
under
Change preposition
of
show examples
the average of the data.
However
Linking Words
, when
look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
at
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the pie chart, the most people who suffer and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
experience
Replace the word
experienced
show examples
tress illness
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
lecturers about a quarter, followed by movie producers faced 18 % and doctors
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
15 %. Other
job
Change the wording
jobs
show examples
are quite
Verb problem
apply
show examples
contribute less to mental health above 12 % but the least contribute and probably the most enjoyable is programmers about 5 %.
Submitted by masry.pakpahan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 6 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • analogy
  • correlation
  • data-driven
  • discernible trends
  • discrepancy
  • empirical evidence
  • fluctuations
  • longitudinal study
  • meticulously
  • percentile
  • predominantly
  • quantitative analysis
  • spectrum
  • statistical significance
  • threshold
  • variances
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