Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction ?do you agree or disagree ?

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It is widely believed that
job
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satisfaction
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is more crucial
while
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others think that having a massive
salary
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is more important. I totally agree that we can not ignore a big
salary
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job
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but
satisfaction
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is
also
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much important. In
this
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essay, I will explain my perspective and provide detailed
example
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examples
show examples
to support my idea.
Firstly
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, getting a
high
Add a hyphen
high-salary
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salary
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job
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is crucial because it will help you to
fulfill
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fulfil
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your dreams and
also
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help you to support
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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family.
Such
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as if a person is working in a big tech company and he is designated on a high profile seat,
such
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as
Manager
Correct article usage
a Manager
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, he will have numerous responsibilities to handle the company. No doubt with
the
Correct article usage
a
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big
salary
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you can do everything in your life
,
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apply
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because
money
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can buy everything. With
massive
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the massive
a massive
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amount
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amounts
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of
money
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, everyone can buy
luxury
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a luxury
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home
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homes
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,
royal
Correct word choice
and royal
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car collections, and facilitate
him self
Correct your spelling
himself
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with every royal thing.
On the other hand
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,
satisfaction
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is
also
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much
Rephrase
very
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important, the main reason behind
this
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is with
the
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apply
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money
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you can buy everything but can not buy peace. like if a person is on a high profile seat definitely he
a
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has a
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good and enough
salary
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but he
have
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has
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a lot of pressure to run a company. Numerous people do double
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job
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jobs
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only the sack of earning more
money
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but they are unable to give time to their family and
also
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spend some time with
friend
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friends
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which is
really
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a really
the really
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big issue.
Additionally
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, with high pressure and stress
the
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apply
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human
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humans
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get older early. so I completely agree with
this
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statement that balancing both equally is more important but if you have to select one thing
so
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apply
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definitely
satisfaction
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is more crucial because peace is
blessing
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a blessing
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and it
also
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saves you from many diseases
for instance
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anxiety and depression. In conclusion,
salary
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no doubt
give
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gives
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you every royal thing but
satisfaction
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is
also
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more important so having balance both things is more crucial.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. The example provided about a tech manager could be more closely tied to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence. Some transitions feel abrupt and might confuse the reader.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly explain your points and how they relate to the question asked. Clarity can be improved in some sections.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains both an introduction and a conclusion, which provide closure to the argument.
task achievement
Main points regarding the importance of salary and job satisfaction are addressed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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