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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show units of electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The four pie charts illustrate electricity consumption by fuel energy sources in 1980 and 2000 between Australia and France.
Overall
Linking Words
, the biggest
portion
Use synonyms
 of electricity in Australia was from Coal in both years
while
Linking Words
 in France Natural
Gas
Use synonyms
 and Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 were used the most in 1980 and 2000.
Firstly
Linking Words
, for the 100-unit production in
1989-in
Correct your spelling
1989 in
 Australia, coal was the largest provider with 50
units
Use synonyms
 and the number for Natural
Gas
Use synonyms
 and Hydro
Power
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
equal
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 20
units
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the biggest
portion
Use synonyms
 in 2000 for the 170-unit production was coal with 130. The next largest one was natural
gas
Use synonyms
 with 36
units
Use synonyms
. Oil was the smallest
portion
Use synonyms
 in both years with 10
units
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 2
units
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in France, for the 90-unit total,in 1980 coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 were equal with 25
units
Use synonyms
, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the highest electricity source
portion
Use synonyms
. In 2000, for the 180-unit total, Nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 was the largest
portion
Use synonyms
 with 126
units
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
portion
Use synonyms
 of coal and oil
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the same with 25
units
Use synonyms
 and
Hydro
Correct your spelling
Hydropower
show examples
power
Use synonyms
 was the lowest for both years.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words portion, gas, power, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • units of electricity production
  • fuel source
  • dominant source
  • reliance on coal
  • hydroelectric power
  • natural gas
  • significant reduction
  • primary source
  • drastically increased
  • transition
  • existing infrastructure
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