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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant
The diagram represents the plan of the floor of a public
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library
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the library
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 currently and 20 years ago.
Overall
Linking Words
, the public
library
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 floor has experienced major changes to its structure that include the removal of the tables at the centre, reading
room
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 ,enquiry
desk
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 and
children’s
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books
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area
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there have been some additions like a
computer
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room
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 ,café ,lecture
room
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 and self-service machines.  20 years ago, the central
library
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 contained round tables at the centre.
Tothe
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To the
 west,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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contained
adult
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fiction
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books
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while
Linking Words
non
Add a hyphen
non-adult
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adult
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fiction
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books
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 existed to the east of the
library
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. On the northern
side
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 of the
library
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 ,were CDs, videos, and
computer
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 games to the northwest
Correct your spelling
where
whereas
wheares
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whereas
children’s
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books
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 were to the northeastern
side
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. To the left of the entrance located south of the
library
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 was a reading
room
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while
Linking Words
 the right
side
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 of the entrance had an enquiry
desk
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. Currently ,the central tables and chairs that existed 20 years ago were removed. The entrance still remains in the same location. A
computer
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room
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 now exists and
this
Linking Words
 replaced the former reading
room
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.
While
Linking Words
 a café replaced the enquiry
desk
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. The section that contained
adult
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fiction
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books
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 was shifted to the eastern
side
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 of the
library
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 and now
also
Linking Words
 accommodates an information
desk
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 with self-service machines on the same
side
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. An
area
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 for all reference
books
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 now sits
were
Correct your spelling
where
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adult
Use synonyms
fiction
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books
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 existed. A lecture
room
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 was put in the
area
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 that previously had
children’s
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books
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,an
area
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 for
storytellingevents
Correct your spelling
storytelling events
 with
children’s
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fiction
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books
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 and sofas replaced the CDs ,videos and
computer
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 games
area
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, room, desk, children’s, books, area, computer, adult, fiction, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "tables" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the ninth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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