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Band 6

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (20 mins.)
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The
graph
Use synonyms
 below is present about
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 in the population from 2002 to 2010. The height of the
graph
Use synonyms
 shows data. The first
bar
Use synonyms
 chart shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 view that it’s quite high every
year
Use synonyms
. Another one of the pictures appearances of
percentage
Use synonyms
 education level from 2002 to 2010. In
graph
Use synonyms
 shows us obviously about
percentage
Use synonyms
 of the population populations between 2002 and 2010. The first chart presents
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 that increases every
year
Use synonyms
. In 2002 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 was about 55
percent
Use synonyms
 but in 2010
percentage
Use synonyms
 was about 75
percent
Use synonyms
. It’s grown up every
year
Use synonyms
. And another one of
bar
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 about
ownership
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 by education level. From 2002 to 2010 the percentages of many
bar
Use synonyms
 charts were quite different.
For example
Linking Words
, in colleges, the
percentage
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 in 2002 was around 55
percent
Use synonyms
 but in 2010 was around 80
percent
Use synonyms
 which shows
this
Linking Words
bar
Use synonyms
 chart increase each
year
Use synonyms
. In total for
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
, they were quite increase each
year
Use synonyms
. The
bar
Use synonyms
graph
Use synonyms
 shows 2002 to 2010. And it will be higher in future
also
Linking Words
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, computer, ownership, bar, percentage, year, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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