IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of social media consumers by age in Jamestown in 2018.

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of social media consumers by age in Jamestown in 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a tendency which the biggest
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 rates observed among the young people.
However
Linking Words
, the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 levels showed a gradual decrease through
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 and it commenced from 26-35
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the most
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 percentage level belonged 13-25
years
Use synonyms
 old users
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40%. The people who were 26-35 old range showed less
5
Change preposition
than 5
show examples
% than
13
Correct determiner usage
those 13
show examples
-25
years
Use synonyms
 old and their degree was 35%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the gap between 13-25
years
Use synonyms
 old and 36-45
years
Use synonyms
 old was 25% and the second side’s recording was 15%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the lowest numbers were demonstrated at 46-55
years
Use synonyms
 old and over 55
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Thus
Linking Words
, the public who their olds are between 46 and 55 depicted 8% in the others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the smallest group was over 55
years
Use synonyms
 old and their indications were 2%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: