IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?

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Nowadays,a big majority of individuals prefer to purchase products which are produced by locals from
diffrent
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different
 regions rather than imported goods,I strongly support it for several reasons
such
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 as it is beneficial for local folks ,
besides
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,it leads to
the
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apply
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progress and advancement of the country.In
this
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 essay,I will express both the negative and positive sides of them in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,
Firstly
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,you support the people who are producing
national
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a national
the national
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 and regional
product
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products
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,
therefore
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, those people need to be supported and
encourged
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encouraged
 to provide the rest of
society
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society's
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 demands and necessities,
Secondly
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,when a
goverment
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government
starts to create and run
diffrent
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different
 factories,it can bring lost of job vacancies for it is own individuals,including working in
a factories
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factories
a factory
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,hyper centres ,
furthermore
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,it is
a
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huge merit that many firms and companies can have own materials that could not be found anywhere else.
for instance
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:Iran is a state
that is
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 well known and famous for it is oil and gas and many petroleum products that not only it is beneficial for own state but it is an important good for many countries in all over the worlds.
Thirdly
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 , it will help your economy to be more independent since you can not always rely on other countries and the quality of their product. By creating local items, we have control over the quality of the products and their brand.
On the other hand
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,some public like to use many foreign facilities
such
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 as clothing ,smart electronic devices,cars etc,
For example
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 :many public likes to use APPLE devices that are produced in the USA and items and brands have branches all over the world,
moreover
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,many people tend to purchase clothes and garment from famous brand
such
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 as ZARA,MANGO,H&M and so on . In conclusion :the trend of buying locally produced goods is largely advanteges for society and public, but there should be a balance between buying local things and other imported materials.

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task achievement
Your essay covers both positive and negative aspects of buying locally produced goods but it could be improved by providing more specific examples or data to support your points, particularly in your discussion of local economies and factories.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring your main points are clearly introduced and expanded upon. Although you have a structure, some paragraphs tend to introduce multiple ideas which can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to improve the flow of your essay, avoid repetitive sentence beginnings and incorporate transitional phrases to enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion succinctly present the main theme of the essay, providing a clear frame for your argument.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and explained some key reasons why people might prefer local goods, indicating a clear understanding of the task.
task achievement
The essay presents a good balance by discussing both positive and negative aspects of the trend without sticking to only one viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • local economy
  • job creation
  • transportation time
  • preservatives
  • additives
  • cultural heritage
  • traditional methods
  • import taxes
  • shipping costs
What to do next:
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