Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Health is always the top concern of people, so private

hospitals

Use synonyms

are built with the purpose of wellness care.

Although

Linking Words

some argue that private medical facilities are

disadvantages

Wrong verb form

disadvantaged

show examples

, I firmly believe that holistic care services should be operated by profit-seeking companies. On the one hand, commercial

clinics

Use synonyms

which are operated will bring along many drawbacks for residents. One of the

most

Correct word choice

biggest

show examples

downsides is the price of healing

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes it difficult for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low income

Add a hyphen

low-income

show examples

people is often higher than

non-profit-making

Change preposition

in non-profit-making

show examples

clinics

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, some

clinics

Use synonyms

are only interested in profits

instead

Linking Words

of focusing on the

quality

Use synonyms

of healthcare. A telling example is profit-making companies

also

Linking Words

can encourage

patients

Use synonyms

performing

Change the verb form

to perform

show examples

some unnecessary tests to increase revenue for them without providing any real medical benefit. In short, people’s conceptions of the demerits of private

hospitals

Use synonyms

that

Add a missing verb

are that

show examples

they concentrate only on earning money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I firmly assert that privately-run

clinics

Use synonyms

provide not only

high

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

quality

Use synonyms

health care services but

also

Linking Words

many outstanding benefits.

Clinics

Use synonyms

both have

well- qualified

Correct your spelling

well-qualified

show examples

staff and help to share some burden from public

clinics

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, they include reducing waiting time, having all the necessary equipment and modern machines and helping

patients

Use synonyms

feel more secure and comfortable during healing time.

For example

Linking Words

privately-run

Correct your spelling

privately run

show examples

hospitals

Use synonyms

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

patients

Use synonyms

and modern facilities have shorter waiting

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

than

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others.

This

Linking Words

helps

patients

Use synonyms

to be examined and treated faster. All in all, the merits of profit-making

hospitals

Use synonyms

are providing

patients

Use synonyms

with peace of mind and a sense of closeness

due to

Linking Words

the dedication of doctors,

nurses

Correct word choice

and nurses

show examples

, and the precision of modern medical equipment. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are some drawbacks, the benefits that private healthcare brings,

such

Linking Words

as efficiency, innovation, and superior service

quality

Use synonyms

, are truly important in improving people's

quality

Use synonyms

of life

ieltstb239bythuyanh

Jan 5, 2025

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task response

While the essay is generally clear and logically organized, try to ensure every paragraph directly addresses the main prompt to improve relevance.

coherence

Sometimes, the transition between contrasting ideas isn't as smooth as it could be. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader more effectively.

cohesion

Ensure that every main point is clearly expanded with appropriate examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.

introduction conclusion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong foundation to your argument.

task response

You manage to convey several key points about private healthcare benefits and downsides effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay consistently tries to balance between outlining both the advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare, which enhances analytical depth.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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