Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Being a known human has some troubles and benefits but ı think issues [ anxiety, depression and private risk] are overwhelming about
be
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being
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famous
Add an article
a famous
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person.
Firstly
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, the first problem is everybody
try
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tries
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to search
their
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for their
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private
live
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life
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and
this
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is affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous
people
Use synonyms
's
mind
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minds
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. Not only affects
human
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the human
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mind but
also
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will affect
Wrong verb form
affects
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their social skills and confidence. One experiment shows
the
Correct your spelling
that
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famous
people
Use synonyms
have a specific problem and the problem is
on
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in
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social life because when known
people
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go out everybody
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tries
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try
Add the particle
try to
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take a photo and
video
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videos
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with them.
As a result
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, if you famous person you probably face
to
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apply
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social and private trouble.
Secondly
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,
the
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apply
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famous
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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and movie stars have to smile always because nobody
want
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wants
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to watch who
crys
Correct your spelling
cries
. When somebody
cry
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cries
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or
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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real feelings on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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TV, watcher
statisitics
Correct your spelling
statistics
are falling down fastly. İn one essay
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
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to
Rephrase
how to
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known
Wrong verb form
know
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Use synonyms
people
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people's
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emotions ,and how can they show
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. İn the end of the essay, when they try to hide their feelings, it is directly damaging
on
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to
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their
hormouns
Correct your spelling
hormones
of
brain
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the brain
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and
also
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it
is make
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makes
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them sick. İn conclusion,
be
Wrong verb form
being
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famous has some consequences.
For example
Linking Words
, private risks, mental health and social issues
Submitted by türkoğluahmetonur on

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task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensibility of your ideas. Aim to make each main point clear, potentially using topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and relevant examples to illustrate your points. Avoid vague references and attempt to integrate specific instances.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure by using clear linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are well-supported and logically developed to create a balanced argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses several issues associated with being a celebrity, such as anxiety, depression, and privacy concerns.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains an introduction and conclusion, offering a full structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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