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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children s story books are wasting their time which could better used doing other more useful activities . To what extend do you agree

#people #children #time #story #books #activities
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There is no denying the fact that the main purpose of children reading is debatable.
While
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,
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apply
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 there is a commonly held belief that kids reading story
books
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 will
benefits
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benefit
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 them in many ways, there is
also
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 an argument that opposite it. In my opinion, I think when children spend a lot of time reading these stories,
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 will help them grow their personalities and imaginations as many of these stories speak about friendships, loyalty, love, etc. To start with, reading
books
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 is a great activity a child could do, exploring the events in each story and learning life concepts which may help them later on in their real life as they develop their mental health.
For instance
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, kids who are used to
read
Wrong verb form
reading
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 novels and stories are considered ahead of their peers.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that younger people should spend most of their time on other
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 other than wasting their time on reading
books
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.
However
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,
this
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 includes physical activities like playing outside with friends, visiting the museums or going to the zoo.
Furthermore
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, these kinds of activities will help them interact with the environment and with the other kids.
As well as
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, building their self-confidence and encouraging them to seek the answers
of
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to
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 what they see.
In addition
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, learning to play an instrument or joining a dance class can
also
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 affect their personalities as they practice their hobbies and learn new things. In conclusion, despite people having various views regarding
this
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 topic, I think that
although
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 there is no doubt that other activities are important and grow
Correct article usage
a child
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child
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child's
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 physical and mental abilities, there is a significant benefit of reading
books
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therefore
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,
this
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 aspect can not be ignored as it is considered a part of the educational process of the child throughout his life.
Submitted by ruaa.fatoohi on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly links back to the main topic to maintain coherence.
coherence cohesion
Vary the sentence structures to enhance fluency and readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more compelling.
task achievement
Address potential counterarguments more thoroughly to strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
The essay offers a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the main issue well.
task achievement
The essay highlights the benefits of both reading and engaging in other activities, providing a balanced view.
task achievement
It effectively captures the advantages of reading, linking it to personal development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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