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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

The charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.
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The first bar chart illustrates the destination of UK
graduates
Use synonyms
(excluding full-time
work
Use synonyms
) in 2008. It was the
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 choosing
further
Linking Words
 study that stood out as far more students(29,665) made the choices than others. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 who
selected
Add a missing verb
were selected
show examples
 to take part-time
work
Use synonyms
 was similar to that put out of
work
Use synonyms
, at 17,735 and 16,235 respectively. Only 3,500 students participated in voluntary
work
Use synonyms
, which was the smallest. The second bar chart compares the four types of choices among
postgraduates
Use synonyms
. Similar to the first bar chart, the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 opted for
further
Linking Words
 study, but the
number
Use synonyms
 was approximately one in ten of the counterparts. 2535 students chose to take part-time
work
Use synonyms
, about 200 lower than
further
Linking Words
 study. Only 345
postgraduates
Use synonyms
 engaged in voluntary
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduates
Use synonyms
 in the four types of destination was about 10 times as many as
postgraduates
Use synonyms
, except for part-time
work
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates, work, number, postgraduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Graduate
  • Postgraduate
  • Full-time work
  • Further education
  • Part-time work
  • Unemployment
  • Volunteering
  • Traveling
  • Gap year
  • Career progression
  • Job market
  • Transition
  • Academic life
  • Professional sphere
  • Economic factors
  • Social factors
  • Financial crisis
  • Long-term impact
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