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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the proportion of Australian families that owned certain household appliances in 1995 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the proportion of Australian families that owned certain household appliances in 1995 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #australian #families #household #appliances #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The next chart compares the amount of household appliances that
Autralian
Correct your spelling
Australian
 families have, between the years 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in 1995 TV sets tended to be the most usable item.
In
Change the preposition
On
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 the contrary, computers
was
Change the verb form
were
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 place
of
Change preposition
in
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 popularity. For the year 2002, refrigerators have been the highest appliances ever used , but, personal stereos the lowest. It seems that in 1995 the notioned items
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 used less than in 2002.
For instance
Linking Words
, computers which in 1995 reached a low percentage of 18%, in 2002 experienced a dramatic growth of 76%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the rest of the appliances went from low to high
such
Linking Words
 as personal stereos which went from 33% to 45%, TV sets
79
Change preposition
from 79
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% to 93%, washing machines
67
Change preposition
from 67
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% to 80%, refrigerators
78
Change preposition
from 78
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% to 96% ,and
finally
Linking Words
 hairdryers from 44% to 67% correspondingly. Aside from that, several items presented critical elevations
such
Linking Words
 as the computers, TV sets,
whashing
Correct your spelling
washing
 machines and refrigerators. These changes describe in a way how much
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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people of a region shift their habits.
Submitted by oscarsanmo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
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Vocabulary: The word "sets" was used 3 times.
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