IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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Introduction
Emploers
Correct your spelling
Employees
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the chance to the
employees
Use synonyms
 to work with them with a high-paying job for long
hours
Use synonyms
, or with
a shorter
Correct the article-noun agreement
shorter hours
a shorter hour
show examples
hours
Use synonyms
 for lower income.
And
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think having a high-paying job with long
hours
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is better than working for shorter
hours
Use synonyms
 with
fewer
Fix the agreement mistake
a lower
show examples
 salary, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will
proven
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
 my choice.
Body · 1
Working for long
hours
Use synonyms
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 the
employees
Use synonyms
 not merely a high-paying salary, but
the
Rephrase
also the
show examples
 chance to grow in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
career's life
Change noun form
careers
show examples
, which contributes to
incrase
Correct your spelling
increasing
 the opportunities for higher positions.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it develops the
employees
Use synonyms
' skills that may reflect on their personality.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the financial stability of the employee will provide the ability to save for the future and make
a good investments
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good investment
good investments
show examples
,
as well as
Linking Words
affording
Wrong verb form
afford
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher standards of living,
such
Linking Words
 as having a good car or
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
 house.
Body · 3
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
employees
Use synonyms
 will have a
propriate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
 retirement plan that allows
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
to obtain
Change the verb form
obtaining
show examples
Correct article usage
a huage
show examples
huage
Correct your spelling
huge
 amount of funds after their working years, which contributes to
prepare
Change the verb form
preparing
show examples
 them to
opne
Correct your spelling
open
 their own businesses.
Conclusion
Eventually, a high-paying job
protect
Change the verb form
protects
show examples
 the
employees
Use synonyms
 from the lack of money,
although
Linking Words
 the long
hours
Use synonyms
 of working may be
exsusted
Correct your spelling
exhausted
, but in the end
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial stability attended.

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grammar
Proofread the essay to identify and correct grammar and spelling errors. It will enhance clarity and professionalism. Focusing on improving accuracy in spelling, particularly for words like 'massive,' 'huge,' 'appropriate,' 'exhausted,' and 'employers,' can further elevate the quality of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and concrete details to support your arguments. This could include real-life situations or examples from personal experiences that illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Refine the transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow of the argument.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your preference and provides a roadmap for the essay. This is a strong way to commence an argument.
coherence cohesion
You effectively highlighted important advantages of a high-paying job such as career growth, financial stability, and a solid retirement plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • career growth
  • financial stability
  • mental health
  • stress levels
  • burnout
  • job satisfaction
  • standard of living
  • social relationships
  • retirement planning
  • personal development
  • time management
  • opportunity cost
  • trade-offs
  • quality of life
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