Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

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In today’s society, everyone
have
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has
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freedom
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the freedom
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to do work
according to
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their
wills
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will
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.
However
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, there are still some people whose thinking are old fashion and who think that
,
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apply
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women
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should be limited to taking care of the house and the children. I completely oppose
this
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belief. I will elaborate on it and give my opinions in
further
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paragraphs.
To begin
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, with in early times,
Women
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were forced to stay at home and take care of the young ones. They were not allowed to follow their own
carriers
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careers
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,
although
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these
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this
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type of thinking
have been
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has
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changed over time
but
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apply
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there are still some people with similar thoughts. I think
women
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should be given equal chances to work and excel in their
career
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careers
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because there are many fields where
women
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can perform way better than men.
For example
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, graphic designing data, science, and
medical
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the medical
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sector.
Moreover
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, there is a misconception among
People
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people
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that ladies cannot perform work as
neat
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neatly
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as required, but
this
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has proved wrong.
furthermore
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,
according to
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a study conducted by the University of California
among
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apply
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students, female students received
more
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higher
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grades than male learners in expressing business ideas and in business studies.
probingfurther
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Furthermore
, there are many cases when females are not given equal chances as
of
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apply
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men and
due to
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this
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amazing talent
remained
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remains
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hidden.
for example
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, Kylie Jenner believed to be the best president of the USA was stopped by her parents to participate in politics. But later she argued with her guardians
and
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apply
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enter
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entered
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the
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apply
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politics and became the first president of the USA, who
increase
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increased
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the GDP of the country by 50%. In conclusion,I think females should be allowed to choose their
career
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careers
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and
provided
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be provided
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equal
opportunity
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opportunities
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in order to unleash
the
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their
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hidden talent.
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains a well-structured introduction and conclusion, but the main points can be more logically organized. Try using clear paragraphing and linking words to improve the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Your response addresses the task prompt effectively, but ideas could be expanded and clarified more. For example, explain how equal work opportunities can benefit society.
Task Achievement
Be cautious in providing examples that might not be factually accurate. Ensure examples are realistic and well-explained to support arguments effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good job on including both an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay nicely.
Task Achievement
You've shown a clear position on the topic, advocating for equal opportunities for women in the workplace.
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